Today, we were hoi polloi.

We had planned to stop by Dylan's Candy Bar on the way back from the gym, but when we got there, the store was closed for a private party. A very sad moment. We perked up right away, though, because Dylan's has huge plate glass windows, and so we got to stand outside and vicariously enjoy the premiere episode of Bat Mitzvahs of the Rich and Famous.

I would so much rather stand outside of a fancy party and make snarky comments about it than actually be invited to it. I am so middle class.

Well, not only was this party super-ostentatious, and performed inside a decorative fish-tank for the enjoyment of the masses, but it was also a costume party!! The bar mitzvah girl was wearing the most beautiful (ie. expensive) princess dress I have ever seen. And, I shit you not, the bat mitzvah mom was dressed up as Scarlett O'Hara.

The award for Most Bizarre Costume Choice is split between several candidates. Moses was pretty strange, but at least in keeping with the theme of the evening, unlike the Pope, who was also in attendance. The Pope would most definitely win, if it weren't for the mystery of the boy dressed as an Israeli crossing guard. At least, he was wearing on of those glowing orange mesh vests, and the vest had Hebrew writing on it and an official looking badge. Very strange.

The girls pretty much stuck with expensive looking and flattering: Princess, Fairy Princess, etc.

It was all very aspirational.

....

I remembered what I was going to write about on Friday. Braces. I think that braces are the next big fashion trend. I mean, what is hotter than teenagers with braces? Adults dressed like teenagers with braces. I'm serious. It takes that whole Calvin Klein rec room porno aesthetic to another level. Plus, braces will go perfectly with sneaker skates and velour track suits.