Monday, April 14, 2003

Things I would do if I had a whole lot of money and time:

I would rent a big warehouse space and fill it with old cars. All of the car windows would be replaced with high-res plasma screens facing in, so that when you would get into each car and shut the door, you would have the illusion that the car is moving along a road. It wouldn't be terribly convincing--just about as convincing as those car scenes in old movies that were filmed against a projected backdrop. Some would be in black and white and some would be in hyper-saturated technicolor. Some might use that third-world-overexposed filter from Traffic and Three Kings There would definitely be one black and white scene of a winding mountain road in the fog with eerie animal noises; one super saturated desert scene with no soundtrack; and one Las Vegas neon with fake reflections in the windows and the sound of people shouting.

I don't know if the cars would be motorized to bounce you around a bit. They could be, I guess. They would use basically the same technology as those universal-studios-type rides, only they'd be using it for Art.

Another thing I would do with my inexhaustable funds: Hire someone to invent a piece of software that would tell you how many trees worth of paper each thing you print out is equivalent to. It would also keep track of how many trees worth of paper you've printed on since the software was installed, and perhaps allow you to assuage your guilt by making an online donation to a reforesting project. It would also help save trees by telling you if there are only a couple of lines of text on the last page of your document, and letting you add those lines to the previous page by just clicking on one button. It would automatically stop your printer from printing blank pages. And if you were printing more than one copy of a document that is less than half a page long, it would ask you if you'd like to print two copies per page. I think most people would be environmentally aware if they could, they just need it to be super easy.

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