Sascha and I went to the opening of the new Time Warner center on Columbus Circle last night. Apparently we rubbed elbows with celebrities, but since I am congenitally unable to recognize celebrities when I see them in real life, I can't really tell you much about it. It's sad, because I would quite like to ogle celebrities, but I just always see them and think "that guy looks familiar...didn't he live in my dorm?"
No, idiot, he's Tom Cruise.
A couple of things that were upsetting:
1. You're not allowed to call the new Time Warner Center a mall. Acceptable alternatives are "center" or "complex". But I must protest. If it has a J. Crew in it, it's a mall.
2. When we went into the stores, the store managers would ask in a very peppy and excited way, "how do you like our new store?!"
What the hell?
"Well, ma'am, I must say I do like it! It is every bit as nice as every other Williams Sonoma store I've ever been in! In fact, it is identical to every other Williams Sonoma store I've ever been in! I have always considered myself a fan of corporate homogeny, and I certainly commend you on doing your part!"
3. I hate rich people. And PR people.
But here are some things that were awesome:
1. There is a Whole Foods store in the basement of the mall. That is, in itself, awesome. But even more cool was that they were giving away tons and tons of free samples. And the free samples were in the part of the store where they sell whatever it was that they were giving away. So you could just wander around the store, and when you got to the cheese section, there would be a whole big spread of cheese and crackers. And in the fish section, they were making salmon and cream cheese pinwheels. Etcetera. Now, if there are two things that I love, those things would be canapes and wandering aimlessly around the supermarket. So wandering aimlessly around the supermarket eating canapes is pretty much my idea of heaven.
2. Everyone was in black tie and fancy evening dresses. Well, except for me. But I wasn't looking at me.
3. Jon Stewart was the MC for the evening, and the whole time he had the exact same expression on his face that you would have if your boss made you stand up and give a speech about some big new corporate project that you could really give a shit about. It was pretty excellent.
4. I saw Pat Kiernan!!!
No, idiot, he's Tom Cruise.
A couple of things that were upsetting:
1. You're not allowed to call the new Time Warner Center a mall. Acceptable alternatives are "center" or "complex". But I must protest. If it has a J. Crew in it, it's a mall.
2. When we went into the stores, the store managers would ask in a very peppy and excited way, "how do you like our new store?!"
What the hell?
"Well, ma'am, I must say I do like it! It is every bit as nice as every other Williams Sonoma store I've ever been in! In fact, it is identical to every other Williams Sonoma store I've ever been in! I have always considered myself a fan of corporate homogeny, and I certainly commend you on doing your part!"
3. I hate rich people. And PR people.
But here are some things that were awesome:
1. There is a Whole Foods store in the basement of the mall. That is, in itself, awesome. But even more cool was that they were giving away tons and tons of free samples. And the free samples were in the part of the store where they sell whatever it was that they were giving away. So you could just wander around the store, and when you got to the cheese section, there would be a whole big spread of cheese and crackers. And in the fish section, they were making salmon and cream cheese pinwheels. Etcetera. Now, if there are two things that I love, those things would be canapes and wandering aimlessly around the supermarket. So wandering aimlessly around the supermarket eating canapes is pretty much my idea of heaven.
2. Everyone was in black tie and fancy evening dresses. Well, except for me. But I wasn't looking at me.
3. Jon Stewart was the MC for the evening, and the whole time he had the exact same expression on his face that you would have if your boss made you stand up and give a speech about some big new corporate project that you could really give a shit about. It was pretty excellent.
4. I saw Pat Kiernan!!!
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